Here at the End of all Things
“For the Quest is achieved, and now all is over. I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.”
Frodo Baggins said this to his loyal Samwise Gamgee after the Ring of Power had been destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom. Considering that the immediate world around them was going up in flames, it was an apt thing for Frodo to say to Sam. And at the moment, it’s a pretty apt thing for me to say to you, loyal reader. At least while the whiny part of my heart considers its own immediate circumstances.
After three-and-a-half toilsome years spent focused on Let Me Fall, I am re-entering the work force. In a completely non-related field. As in, I’ll be a legal assistant, not a writer. This means book sales have not been an amazing success. It’s hard not to feel like a failure. On some small level it seems as if I’m clinging to the edge of Mount Doom, watching my visions of the future heave, crack, and spew around me. I completed my quest and nothing remains. (At least my whiny heart is glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things.)
Yet I know this sniveling part of my heart is wrong. My accepting a full-time job is not the termination of Let Me Fall. It doesn’t signal the end of my ability to write or speak. (I’m still headed to Liverpool to speak at Revolution Conference in Oct. and will continue to blog on a regular basis.) It just means that the path for Let Me Fall is not the same path as The Shack. And God’s plan for my life is different than His plan for William P. Young’s life. I mean, God’s creative enough to come up with something different, right?
If nothing else, me getting this job proves how much God really cares. The book is complete and we needed more income. God dropped the job in my lap. I get to work for a family friend. I care about his business succeeding. My new work will challenge and stretch me. I’ll have a window in my office. What more could a girl ask for? Well … I guess there is one thing. It’d sure be nice if my new boss would bring back Casual Friday so I could bust out my writer’s attire.
I’ll close by thanking you, loyal reader. Thank you for accompanying me on my quest. Thank you for the times you carried me when I could not take another step. Thank you for being with me—here at the end of all things—even though it’s not really the end. I hope you’ll be my companion through my next quest. 🙂
Take heart. It’s not an end. It’s just another beginning.
@kasthomas
Thanks Kas!
And I’m honored to be here at the end of things. As a writer working full-time in a non-writing profession, I understand the pain and frustration that comes with trying to balance an artistic dream/passion with a less artistic reality. It’ll take time, but you’ll find your balance. And you may find work helps inspire your writing, especially when you encounter strange people…
So true! Thanks Halee. 🙂
I thought about you the other day when I was watching Evan Almighty. After he had spent so much time and effort building the boat….He started yelling at God, “Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation??!!!” I started reflecting on your journey and how it must have been so similar to Evan, err Noah. 🙂 Anyway, I’m glad you’ve had some precipitation for all your hard work, but I’m still praying for a flood for all your obedience! 🙂 Love you.
Hannah, you have the uncanny ability to say things that move me (and make me cry). Thanks for your understanding and friendship. Love you back.
We’ve been there with you from the beginning, so we will, of course, be there . . . “at the end of all things – “even though it’s not really the end.” As Kas said, “It’s not an end. It’s just another beginning.” Very true.
Halee’s words are also true, “… you may find work helps inspire your writing…” There are others who have told me (or said on their reviews on Amazon.com) that they’re looking for the next book from Beth Pensinger! In the meantime, some of us are thinking there’s more potential for good for God’s kingdom through a discussion/Bible study/journaling guide, based on the book, for small groups…
Thanks for sticking with me. 🙂
That song, “You are making all things new” is playing in my head. 🙂 You may feel like you are finished, but only God knows what the future holds & you can be sure it’s more mind-blowing than your wildest dreams. I look forward to watching the blog in anticipation of what’s to come for you and Let Me Fall. PS: I know it’s frustrating but for those of us who feel like Let Me Fall was written specifically for them, I say thank you!
I downloaded that song because of you. And of course I think of you every time I hear it. 🙂 You’re right. You’re so right. Maybe I should be excited things haven’t gone the way I thought they would. Because if I can dream it up … well … I just don’t have that much imagination.
PS: You’re welcome 🙂 Thank you for that.
Beth, your book and blogs have been incredible and inspiring! I am grateful for what you have given of yourself and know that this is not the end of all things. Your writing has been a blessing for many!
Thank you for that Allison. For reals.
“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” -Theodore Roosevelt
Love you. Love your writing.
Dang Ashleigh. Thank you. I love you too.
If meeting strange people is the necessary ingredient for writing inspiration as Halee said, GIRLFRIEND YOU ARE SET!!!!! Love you Beth! So blessed to have you in the office next to mine!
Hahahahahaha! So true! Love you back Renee!!