Surpassing the Scarecrow
I feel like I’m finally growing a brain. Finally starting to think for myself. (It’s only taken 32 years.) On one hand, I’m glad for it. Being a people pleaser is bad enough without others having to do your thinking for you. It means I can have a different opinion than someone else and actually discuss it without fearing their anger or an argument. (Because when you’re thinking for yourself, you actually know why you have the opinion and can therefore engage in a rational conversation.)
On the other hand, brain-growing is frustrating business. The list of things/ideas/people I don’t understand grows daily. I guess I didn’t really understand before, but it sure didn’t bother me.
With this new growth, I sense danger lurking. What will happen when some of my core beliefs are shaken? What if they fall and are turned into rubble? Do some need to crumble? Do some need extra support? Which ones? And when the dust settles, will I have the wherewithal and gumption to re-build?
At least I feel confident I’m not in this business alone.
What about you? What was it like when you grew a brain? Or have you yet?
Yes, it IS a scary feeling. I’m not sure that I’ve “arrived” yet in the Emerald City of Oz. Many years ago (in college), I thought I’d finally BEGUN to “grow a brain of my own” – term papers, discussions with roommates or classmates, etc. Then I realized that “my brain-growing world” – of opinions and being able to have rational conversations – was skewed by my limited experience in life. Later experiences as a parent caused my assessment of my brain-growing ability to crumble and fall. Too many “Why?” questions? The look of disbelief and argument from those I loved dearly shook me to the core. Still, I tried to fiercely hold on to my core beliefs, because I believed that’s what God wanted me to do for the sake of my children. So . . . I haven’t arrived yet, and time is running out for me. Sorry, no words of wisdom.