S-Stammering Speechification, Part 1

On the eve of my website’s launch, my amazing friends Russell and Kristi Johnson kicked off their second annual Adore Marriage Conference right here in Myrtle Beach. After hearing the premise of my book, Let Me Fall, and reading through a very rough draft, they invited me to do a Q & A at the conference. You wouldn’t have suspected that the beautiful and super-talented Kristi was a bundle of nerves as she articulately posed her questions. But it was quite clear by my shaking hands and ocular captivation with my notes that I was one breath away from projectile vomit. Nevertheless, it was my first opportunity to speak publicly about my book, and for that Russell and Kristi, I am truly grateful!

Here is the first of a two-part recap of that interview:

KRISTI: First, talk a little about where Let Me Fall came from. What was the back story that lead you to write it?

ME: Maybe like a lot of women, I’ve always been a romance junkie. And the inclination followed me into my married life. But reading about love stories wasn’t enough and I started to notice a powerful despair that would take over almost as soon as I would finish any good romantic book or movie. It was emotionally debilitating and made me feel like a complete idiot. I mean, my marriage isn’t perfect by any means, but we love each other and work hard to make our marriage successful. So I became sure that something was wrong with me and I questioned God about it. I was stunned when I felt an almost immediate and crystal clear response from Him. Actually it was more like a directive. He said, “Fall in love with Me and write about it.” Nine months later, I quit my job so I could work on my story full-time.

KRISTI: You talk about being obsessed with the Twilight series. Do you think a lot of people, both men and women, live in a ‘fantasy world’ through either books, movies, or even the internet (Facebook, etc.)?

ME: I think it’s entirely possible. Though I have a feeling that a lot of people don’t even realize that they’re caught up in a fantasy world. I didn’t for a long time. But realization doesn’t necessarily fix the problem. I found that I often preferred fantasy to reality. In fantasy world, you’re not accountable to anyone, unless you want to be. You can live in this world and not hurt anyone else. You can go where you want, when you want, and be the person you want to be. You can get all the things you crave. But none of it’s real. And at the very least, fantasy world ends up disappointing people who count on it to sustain their needs. It certainly did with me.

KRISTI: In Chapter 5, you state that you often desired what was not available. Explain that and is the need to be chased a danger to marriages?

ME: It’s the same problem you would find with two toddlers in a room full of toys. As soon as the first toddler grabs the Sally Spaghetti doll; that suddenly become the only doll that each child is interested in playing with. On a marriage level, I think that the need to be chased is a reality, and quite possibly even a positive one. The danger comes when the chase is no longer happening. It’s my belief that the world needs to see men who actively woo their wives, and women who are working to be worthy of said wooing.

KRISTI: In Chapter 8 you pose the question “Is it truly possible to know God?” What do you think?

ME: I think it is possible. That doesn’t mean we can know everything there is to know about Him, or even come close. He’s too huge for that. But I looked up the definition of know. One of the definitions is: to be acquainted with, as by sight, experience, or report. I think that’s the definition God wants for us. To see Him. To become acquainted with and experience Him. And it really makes sense when you think about the fact that every deep and lasting friendship in the human experience had to start out as an acquaintance.

You can read part two here.

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Posted in Spiritual-ish Musings on March 19, 2012.