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Interview with the Vampire

Just kidding! I figured I could get away with that title since Let Me Fall has something to do with my obsession with the Twilight saga. In today’s post, I’ll be interviewing myself about my book. I’ll refer to interviewer-me as Elizabeth to make it as confusion-less as possible.

ELIZABETH: Thanks for joining me today, Beth! I really like your Pinterest-inspired triple-braided buns, by the way.

BETH: Awww, thanks! I love braids.

ELIZABETH: Well let’s get right into it. I see in my notes that you quit your job as a Realtor well over two years ago so you could write full time. Soooo, why aren’t you done yet?

BETH: Wow—hostile much?

ELIZABETH: Just because people don’t ask it out loud doesn’t mean they’re not thinking it.

BETH: I guess I can’t fault your logic. It sounds cliché, but the truth is simple: Writing is hard. Writing can turn mentally healthy individuals into schizophrenics—one day you’re an amazing writer and you’re confident the world will be a better place because of your words. The next day your keyboard laughs at every letter your fingers strike. Translation: Some days I get a thousand words on paper, and other days it’s a feat to get fifty.

ELIZABETH: Hmmm. Interesting. Do any other inanimate objects speak to you?

BETH: No, but sometimes I yell at my eggs when they explode and singe my arm.

ELIZABETH: Right. Well, getting back to your book…where are you with the publishing process?

BETH: The entire manuscript is complete and I can’t even recall the number of times it’s been non-professionally edited. I am working on a book proposal to send to two different literary agents. If one of them likes my book enough, we’ll work together to find the right publisher.

ELIZABETH: Book proposal, huh? Sounds pretty easy.

BETH: I want to punch you in the throat right now. I do not consider demographics, psychographics, reader statistics, platforms, or endorsements easy. Especially when I am a virtual nobody with a pea brain.

ELIZABETH: I won’t dispute the pea brain comment, but what do you mean when you call yourself a nobody?

BETH: Publishers want to hear you’ve got a platform, which means connecting with your potential readers on a large scale. Think of it this way; would my target audience rather read my book, or one written by Jennifer Aniston?

ELIZABETH: Oh, I see. But I think I’ve heard enough about the publishing stuff—I’m easily bored. What’s your favorite chapter of your book and why?

BETH: That’s easy. Chapter 4: Lassie, Timmy’s Fallen Down a Well Again. It’s about rescue and I’ve always been a sucker for a good saved-from-danger-story.

ELIZABETH: Alrighty then. That’s enough interviewing for today. Tune in next Friday if you’re thirsty for more.

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  1. Carolyn Trucano

    Hmmm . . . I understand demographics and platforms O.K. But could you explain more about psychographics when the Vampire interviews you next week? And does your practice with celebrity stalking help you collect the all important endorsements? Just wondering . . .

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