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Thanksgiving with a Twist

I’m thankful for a great many things, as my journal is privy to. Dumb things like a good parallel parking job and re-creation of a hairstyle on Pinterest. Sweet things like a card from the hubbs.

However, to really do my thankfulness justice, I feel it is important to recognize the things I am not thankful for. So today, let down your hair, loosen your ties, and join me on my quick trip down thankless lane.

Things I’m un-thankful for:

1. Back fat. An inescapable evil for women.
2. Sheet snobs: Those who think anything less than a thread count of 500 is punishment for their skin.
3. Smoke breaks next to the door I’m about to walk through.
4. Boring conversations.
5. Bacon byproduct. If I had a kitchen warrior name, it would be “Beth the Mighty Bacon Hair.”
6. Salespeople who are forced to ask me if I want the extended warranty with my ballpoint pen purchase.
7. The feel of Poodle fur. It makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
8. Soap scum. Do I really have to clean because of a cleaning product?
9. Clowns and spiders. Neither serves a good purpose in life. Well maybe the spiders do.
10. The furious rustle of cricket legs against the plastic bag I bring them home in. All to feed a chameleon who hates me.

I’m actually thankful to be unthankful for these things. Without them, I might not remember to be thankful in the first place.

What are you thankfully unthankful for?

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  1. ash

    …..birds. *sighs* i guess they are necessary, yet horrid, creatures.

    • beth

      Everyone is entitled to their opinion. ;)

  2. Are you unthankful for back fat because you have to look at mine when you walk behind me through a door. Just a little paranoid here since I know you don’t have any, and do not say you do! I totally agree with every. single. thing. on your list. I’m ungrateful for them also. Let’s start a revolution!

    Funny, in my last blog post I wrote, “I’m grateful I don’t have to be grateful for anything.”

    Love your posts! I’m thankful for you.

    • beth

      Even stick-thin supermodels have back fat when they don a bra.

      Thanks for commenting! So glad you agree with everything on my list. I’m thankful for you too!

  3. Rosemarie Fitzsimmons

    I am unthankful for progressive dictionary authors(you can now find “nother” in Webster’s because so many people say things like, “that’s a whole nother issue”). I’m also unthankful for the phrase “Black Friday” (despite its origins) and everything it stands for. But I’m thankful for your blog Beth, because even though I’m usually a fly on the wall, your peace and grace are inspiring.

    • beth

      I’m thankful for your continued visits to my blog and comment. Sometimes I don’t realize how much I’m aching for encouragement until I unexpectedly get it.

  4. I’m so glad you explained the cricket legs thing because um, I was about to be concerned. Tasty snack, huh? ;)

    I’m totally with you on most of it (although I have no idea what Poodle fur feels like and I really only eat turkey bacon), but especially the boring conversation part. Eeek! Makes me want to pull out my eyelashes one by one, and I really don’t have very many eyelashes so I’m quite protective of my few.

    I’m also unthankful for the ever-present dark circles under my eyes that are impossible to cover appropriately and people with limited vocabularies who say things like “whatevs.” *shudder*

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