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Dear 90’s Beth,

This is second of a three-part series on what my current self would say to the Beth of bygone days. Here’s part one in case you missed it.

And now, onward through time to 90’s Beth:

* Please quit with the bangs already. This time, it’s not Mom’s fault.

* If I could shelter you from middle school, I would. Just know that your peers are as miserable as you and are lying if they deny it.

* You will name your first pimple. Unfortunately, you’ll soon run out of names.

* Ask Mom how to tweeze your eyebrows before you start high school. She’s better at this than she was cutting your bangs.

* I don’t care if it looks dorky or not; wear both book bag straps. Your back will thank you later.

* Congratulations! Your brothers finally like you. Now prepare for the heartache of them leaving the nest before you.

* Yes, in the same decade you put elementary school in the rear view mirror, you will become a wife.

* Start learning now to cook healthier than Ramen noodles & Totino’s pizzas. The Freshman 15 has nothing on the Newlywed 35.

* Newsflash: You’re not as grown-up as you think.

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  1. For a moment, I was like “holy cow, you got married within ten years of elementary school? Did you get married in high school or something?”

    And then I realized… I started middle school in ’96 and got married in ’06. Goodness. Ten years felt a lot like an eternity while I was living it.

    • beth

      Hahahaha! No, I got married a year after high school @ 18.

      It’s weird to think about all the changes that happen over the span of a single decade!

  2. Amy Trucano

    I can totally relate to this, especially the middle school, bangs and pimple part. Although I never named mine. I was also pretty sad about my brother leaving the nest, until I got his truck, that is 😉

    • beth

      Ooooh, nice! A truck sounds like a mighty fine consolation prize.

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